Alias | Transcripties Hennessy Youngman

Hennessy Youngman

ART THOUGHTZ

How To Be A Successful Artist

What’s up Internet, it’s ya boy Hennessy Youngman, Henrock the King, pimp of the oneliners. You know I get a lot of emails from people asking me what it takes to become a successful artist. So I set up this formula. It's about 98% guaranteed to work if you want to become a successful artist.


One, be white. All right? Being white helps in the art world, because, white makes the world go round. That's why I filmed this video in my white antechamber, my alabaster alcove. You know what I'm saying?


Two, be a white male. Being a white man, pretty much your voice is the universal voice. Therefore, anything you make won't be burdened with any kind of cultural labels that niggas and bitches have to deal with. Like, for instance, if he's a white man, you want to paint a flower. People see the painting of the flower, they're like, oh, that's a really pretty, that's a pretty flower. And that's all it is. It's a motherfucking flower. Nigga paints a flower, becomes a slavery flower, flower de Amistad, or something. Bitch paints a flower, becomes a metaphor for her vagina. It's terrible. So being a white man grants you universality, naturally. Just the natural way of naturally making shit.


Two, be a white woman. This way, you could put on a wig. You could explore identity through your wigs. Because it's rough not having a dick. And lord knows it's rough being a woman in the Sudan – I mean, America.


What's another step in being a successful artist outside of being a white man and or woman? I say you should make your artwork ambiguous. The less motherfuckers are able to understand the artwork, the more they can put into it. And motherfucking white artists, critics, they love fucking running their mouth. They love the challenge of an ambiguous work because it allows them to enter the work. Most of these motherfuckers lives is boring, and they need the work, your work, to kind of fill this void that life lived as it is, just can't fucking deliver.


So, yeah, just be white. Be ambiguous. There you go. That's it. All right Internet, it's a short one. Hope to see some dope paintings and sculptures out of this video from y’all, hopefully. I don't know how long it takes to make art, but I hope I see something in a week. Hit me up. Hennessyoungman@gmail.com (e-mail adress is no longer active). All right, peace, Internet.

How To Be A Successful Black Artist

Yo, what's up, Internet? This ya boy Hennessy Youngman, aka Henrock Allah, aka Henrock Obama. Been getting a lot of emails from some of y’all out there, that y’all see my last video, “How to be a successful artist”. And y’all was like, Hennessy, that was a good video, but a lot of shit in that video don't apply to me because I'm a nigga. What am I supposed to do? How can I be a successful artist? And y’all been bringing up a good point. Just because you are not white don't mean you can't be a successful artist. Because as a nigga artist, you could exploit the shit out of white people. And a lot of the guilt that white people have over shit, they really don't got no control of it. Like, burned my toast the other day. I know if I told some crack on the street I burned my toast, and if I said it to him in a certain tone, a certain amount of anger, I know he'd apologize and most likely buy me some more toast.


Basically, the first step is, as a nigga artist, you kind of got to be angry. You got to – not punching crackers in the face, or nothing like violent – but you got to have this angry nigga exterior. So to perfect this, I suggest you should watch footage of pit bulls fighting, perhaps. Or maybe you should watch the Rodney King beating over and over again. Or maybe look at pictures of Emmett Till in his coffin. I mean, I'm getting angry just telling you this shit. You know what I’m saying? Or, you know, you should also watch that scene in “Do the right thing”, where Radio Raheem, he gets choked to death. I seen that in the theatre, and it was like the river Styx came out my eyes. I was so sad off of that, man. I was so angry. But basically, if you perfect this exterior, this angry nigga exterior, the white gallery directors and curators and general art audiences will kind of be more into your shit. Unapproachable. Think of that. Unapproachable.


I call this next step the jazz principle. You know what I'm saying? It's like, white people, they want to consume the exotic other, right? Because even though they want to come see your artwork, want to see you as an artist, they don't really want to understand you, because if they understood you, you'd be just like them. And white people don't want the nigga artists being just like them. You know what I'm saying? It's pretty simple. Ever since white people took over the world, there's not much that's new for them to do or see. So as niggas, we got to keep them entertained. We got to keep them guessing. We got to speak different. You know what I'm saying? Like on some Miles Davis shit. And if we don't keep white folks entertained and guessing, some other brown race might step in on some Bobby Jindal shit and take our place. In fact, I think we about seven years overdue for a riot. Los Angeles, looking at you. You've been disappointing. You just can't riot when the Lakers win. You know what I'm saying? You got to bring it, do it.


Above all, you got to keep them white fuckers away from the man behind the curtain. Don't let them know that your dick be regular or that you have a savings account or that you recycle. Because that shit is bad business for nigga artists. You with me? All right, onto the next one.


Next shit is like, suppose you had a gallery or a museum and you get into some kind of conversation with some brainy motherfuckers. And as a nigga artist, you got to be brainy, too. You know what I'm saying? So it's like, you should use the word, like, post black. You know what I'm saying? Honestly, I don't know what the fuck that means, because it means after black, and niggas is still niggas. So I don't know. Is it like, someone from the future come back with that term, and niggas is like pink in the future? I don't understand it. You know what I'm saying? I know it's my duty to instruct y’all to be better artists, but I honestly must say, I don't get it. You could email me if you do know. You know what I'm saying? But, yeah. All right. Fuck this. I don't even be knowing about this one. Internet, calm down. I'm sorry. I don't know. All right?


I call this next step or next principle, whatever, I call this the dogs playing poker principle. It's like, you ever see that painting with dogs around a poker table playing poker? Or, like, calendars with cats dressed up like firemen and police officers are wearing raincoats? You know what I'm saying? That's just cute, right? I mean, that's cute, right? And another way to be a successful nigga artist is to paint niggas doing white shit, historically white shit. Like, pose them like a Titian painting. You could paint a nigga looking all regal on a horse, and then white people could be like ‘Oh, my gosh, look at that nigger on a horse. He looks like Napoleon, honey.’ You know what I'm saying? White people love that shit. They love seeing the other doing shit like what they would do, but still kind of detached and different. So you could hip hop that shit out.


All right, next. This shit is so elemental and so basic that I should have put it in the beginning, but I don't know. I just wasn't really thinking when I started this video. But the next shit is slavery. As a nigga artist, you know what I'm saying? Slavery is the wellspring of black cultural experience in America and also throughout the world. You know what I'm saying? So it's a source of our black gold, literally. And as a nigga artist, if you don't got anything particularly unique to say, you always have slavery to fall back on. You know what I'm saying? From the Jim Crow era, antebellum period, civil rights movement into the future, now, when niggas is on the Internet and shit. You always got slavery to fall back on. Because white people, they don't really have any shared cultural traumas other than maybe like, their shared disappointment in the series finale of Seinfeld. But that really doesn't make for good art. And as niggas, we got mad trauma in our history, and that shit is, you could really fucking bring in the dough. I'm not going to tell you how to use slavery. That's up to you as an individual artist. But just saying, if you got nothing up your sleeve, you're at the poker table of the art world. Pull out slavery, full house, royal flush, whatever the fuck, how you win poker.


In conclusion, you know what I'm saying? As a nigga artist, you should appear to be angry, be unpredictable and exotic to white folks, appear to be in line with black intellectual fads and whatnot have you, and exploit slavery in the production of art objects in order to satisfy the voyeuristic needs of bourgeoisie white consuming audiences, and say you're doing it to challenge them. So, basically, when they leave your provocative and challenging solo exhibition, they have something to talk about while they eat dinner at the Russian tea room. And follow that, and you're going to be a very successful nigga artist. That's really it.


Oh, yeah. On one final note: Kara, Kara baby, why didn't you return my emails, girl? Because I'm light skinned? You don't want to fuck with me? You fucking with that Yankin nigga. You fucking with O'Feely. That nigga touches shit, girl. You don't let him finger you. He touches shit. It's disgusting. Disgusting. You know what I’m saying? I'm just all about you. You know what I'm saying? You keep selling that shit, making that money. If I was with you, I'd take that money and buy shit like this. It’s a match made in heaven, girl. You know what I'm saying? Don't front, girl. I don't touch shit. Let me put my finger in you. Come on. It's Henny talking right now. All right. I love you, girl. Peace. Holler at me. I love you. Bye, boo.

How to Make an Art.

What up, Internet? This ya boy Hennessy Youngman, aka Henrock Obama, aka the Pharaoh Hennessy. You know what I'm saying? I've been getting a lot of emails from many of you, basically saying: “Hennessy, I have no artistic talent whatsoever, yet I'm compelled to want to make art.”


And first off, Internet, I want to express my displeasure with your use of such antiquated terms like talent and making. Who you think you is, Internet? Brancusi? Come on now, that's crazy. You talking crazy and reckless right now, Internet. This the future, Internet, and talent ain't got naught to do with artistic production. You know what I'm saying?


Art is not about making a sculpture out of scratch. I mean, where do you even find scratch in 2011? I thought we ran out of scratch, like in the 60s after the Vietnam War. Anyway, y’all know that art can be made out of everyday objects. And this is a pretty old trick, you know what I'm saying? But it's still very doable in this age of Internet based artistic type productions and shit. As long as that everyday object doesn't serve an actual function within society, then it could be elevated to the realm of art. You know what I'm saying? And this kind of work, you don't really want to call it an artwork. You want to call it a proposition. You know what I'm saying? It has the possibility of being art. You know what I'm saying? This is a question about art, a query, you know what I'm saying? And there's no such thing as bad questions. You know what I'm saying? Just bad answers. And your art, the shit you're making, is not an answer. Make sure you say it's exploring something challenging or investigating, but don't say it's solving anything. All right?


Now let's look at some art made out of everyday, banal, forgettable fucking objects. Let's go. I can't possibly sit on all these chairs. Art. I can't possibly drink from all these cups. Art. How am I going to write with that pencil? Art. That's just too much candy. Art. Damn, son. I was trying to get a game of b-ball in before dinner time. Art. So that's where I left my gold statue. Art. Holy beavers, Batman. The Riddler has destroyed the coastline of Gotham beach and left his logo behind. Art. Don't you just hate when junkies be trying to sell their mother's shit? Art. Your unemployed brother in his 40s who still lives with your mom doesn't do shit. Ain't serving no purpose, so… Art. And it's performance art, too, so that's like double art points right there. Well, this isn't art because I can actually piss in this, and so it's still serving a function. So not art.


So, yeah, Internet. That's it. Don't fret. If you can't make these types of arts, then there's always video art, and that's it. Peace. One love.

How to Make an Art. Addendum (Part 2ish)

What up, Internet? This ya boy Hennessy Youngman. And you know, I've been getting some emails from some of y'all who saw my video “How to make an art”. And some of y'all expressed some confusion as to what steps you should take in making your own art object. And I decided to follow that video up with another one that's not so theoretical, one that's more practical and show you how to make an art with very little means, you know what I'm saying?


Right here I got these two statues of David. That's all you need. Boom. These two niggas right here, you need a can of black spray paint, all right, and a can of yellow spray paint. And with these supplies, I'm going to make a sculpture. All right, walk with me, Internet. Let's go.


So first off, I'm going to start with the one statue. I'm going to put one over here so it don't get dirty, you know what I'm saying? Put y’all right there, and I'm going to start with the black spray paint, you know what I'm saying? Just to go easy. You know what I'm saying?

 

Shake that shit up. Agitate it. You know what I'm saying? It's real easy, Internet. Boom, Internet, boom. Blackface. You know what I'm saying? Blackface David. Gotta keep the chains, you know. Can't have the chains get dirty, you know. Gotta be careful with that. Shit is expensive. Come around here, like so. Ventilation, proper ventilation isn't required. Look at that.


Bring in dos dos, remove this guy, right? Shouldn't really be touching it. Fuck it. Put that one right here. How y'all doing? I should have this piece done in like, you know, under half hour. I should have this coat done under half hour, you know? You know, get this guy right here, you know what I'm saying? It ain’t hard Internet. It's not rocket science, you know what I'm saying? It's the easy part, making it. The hard part is giving it cultural context. You know what I'm saying? That's the difficult part with this kind of work. It's almost done. That's it for now. I'm going to go play some God of War while this shit dries. And I'll be back in like, I don't know, I'll be back in like 20 minutes to see. Check up on this shit. All right? Peace.


Okay, that's it, Internet. Now that we have these two objects together, they begin to have a conversation with one another and they become one whole sculpture. Looking at this piece, I think I'm going to call it “The Buddy Cop” or “Buddy Cop”. The sculpture, it places itself rather aggressively within the history of western art. Also, we begin to have a conversation about kitsch and how it begins to desecrate the fine art object through reproduction. We also have a very, very large conversation on race, class and globalization, and also the dissemination of these racial archetypes via contemporary cinema. So we can also include a commentary on contemporary cinema as well within discussion of this piece, which is known as “The Buddy Cop”. No, “The Buddy Cop”, I like that.


Last but not least, this is very important. You know what I'm saying? You're going to need a price gun as well, because you don't want people to walk into the gallery and be confused as to what it might cost. Sometimes they got to go get a price sheet, and it's kind of embarrassing for them to have to go up to the little cute girl behind a desk and ask for a price list. And then when they look at it, they can't afford it. You put the price right on it. People aren't really confused, and they could pretend like they're just admiring it for its itness, even though they're trying to figure out they can afford it. So I'm going to just go right ahead and smack a price on this bitch right here. Okay. All right. There on the shoulder. That's a good spot for it.


And yeah, that's it Internet. I hope this video helped you out. I try to be very unselfish in making these videos. I really want to see some new art stars. Want to see some shining stars. And stay tuned for the next art thoughts. I love you all. All right, peace. Make that money. All right. Love you all Internet.